The last day of the year

31^st of July

This is the last day of my leap year. Tomorrow I'll officially continue working in Pihtipudas high school, even though the school year starts a bit later. This past year has been everything that I imagined and more.

After the turmoil of emotions due to my divorce, the year in Spain was exactly what I needed in my life. I could take the much needed distance and really give time to my daughter and also to myself, and concentrate on my well-being (I lost altogether 13 kilos!) and start looking into the future. I started doing yoga almost a year ago in August, and it has really helped me get in touch with myself, so that I'm learning to let go what goes, let come what comes, and appreciate the things that I have.

If I think about all the pressure and responsibilities, efforts and struggles of organizing the year in Spain, plus starting a new, wonderful and exciting relationship with Toni, while still taking care of my daughter as a single mother and working full-time, it feels that everything was totally worth it. The things we were able to do in Spain and the memories we made were something that we will take with us for the rest of our lives. I feel that my relationship with my daughter is stronger than ever. First of all, we spent a lot more time together during the year than we probably would have in Finland. In addition, I don't think that we would have slept in the same bed, as we had to do in Spain, because we only had one bedroom. Plus, we are both terribly missing our motorbike, which was probably one of the best things during the year. It was so convenient, easy to park, easy to handle, perfect for the two of us to get around to our hobbies and to go shopping or whatever. That is to say, we now share things that only the two of us will understand and remember.

We made some good friends there as well, and I'm hoping that we can keep in touch with them, even though we now live in different cities. Some friends stayed there, and some moved back to Finland after their year in Fuengirola, just like us. Now when I'm trying to summarize the year and what we went through, I just get flashes of people in my head, memories of us sitting in La Cantera, the corner pub, or spending time on the beach or by the pool, or going to sing karaoke, eat sushi, drink blue sangrias, going on walks on the Paseo during Saimi's kungfu, and so much more. I got new friends also by learning Spanish on the Suomela-courses, and later by taking lessons at home. In MindBody-studio I met lovely and talented people whom I wish to meet again. I really hope that some day we get a call from someone who decides to take up on our invite and come to see us in Finland! Our year wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful as it was, if it hadn't been for all the people we met.

Now we are back in Pihtipudas, in our own house. We didn't return to something old, or take a step back. We are taking a new step and starting something new, as a family with Toni, who will at least for now, travel back and forth between Kotka and Pihtipudas. The house feels somehow new as well, because it has been over 16 months since we've lived here. I'm quite excited to go back to work as well. During the year I've noticed that I really like my job and it has some perks that other jobs don't. Even though it is demanding in ways that other jobs are not.

I hope that the things that I've learned during the year in Spain will give me a boost in being a teacher. Maybe it's something that I cannot see or feel just yet, maybe it's something that I will see in a few years, or maybe in some other aspects in my life. However, I'm grateful for the chance that I got, that everything worked out so well. I'm also grateful for Toni, who supported me throughout the year, also when it was cold and raining all the time, or when I felt that I'm all alone, away from the people I really love. Some of the best memories were made together when he came to visit.

I'm missing many things from Spain, like the mixture of languages we could hear every day and the possibility to learn Spanish easily every day, the warmth (...even though it's boiling hot now in Finland, the winter is coming...), the sun and light, different colours and smells in the nature, our Yamaha D'light (again, because it was the best), cheaper food and wine, (cheaper everything, really!), the yogastudio and beach yoga, fresh and tasty vegetables and fruits all year round, some ice-creams, some churrerías (Santa Fe) and cafeterías (Delicioso, Kuik), some restaurants (San Chocolate, Munchies, Kazuki, Wok-Directo, Lizarran, etc...) and the beach, of course. It was so amazing to be able to walk on the Paseo, catching the last rays of sunlight, while speaking on the phone to Finland where people were stuck inside, because it was freezing cold outside. Can you imagine, that in the morning of the last day of the year 2017, I was doing beach yoga! That's something that you just can't do in Finland... Plus, there was always something new to see and find. We just hopped on our “moto” and drove wherever we felt like driving! Benalmadena and Mijas were the easiest destinations, and the views on the way... wow! I'm also missing the simple life we had, just the two of us, living in a small apartment, reading each other's thoughts.

What I'm NOT missing, are the weird Spanish ways of doing things, like not recycling properly and leaving rubbish everywhere, parking in the middle of the street while “just quickly getting my daily shoppings from the panadería”, or being very loud, also during the night. A band in the neighboring apartment will not be missed, either. Or the cold stone floors during the “winter”, when I had to wear two sets of wool-socks and a pair of slippers. I won't miss missing Toni and Serra so terribly, that I just felt like crying.

A year is a short time. Now it feels that it was just a short while ago when we left Finland and flew to Malaga. Still, so many things have happened, we've experienced the Spanish winter. But it feels such a short time, that I think that I didn't get enough. I'd like to think that some day we will do this again as a family, so that we don't have to miss each other all the time. Maybe we could move to a bit smaller village, a bit further away from the Finnish communities, so that we could learn Spanish more, and get to know the culture and the people a bit more. Who knows.

Life is too short for just waiting and not doing the things that we love, with the people we love.